music.

one of my friends started trying to teach me how to play guitar.
i know three chords! haha, it's kind of a big deal.

anyways...
i was sitting in my room, playing those three chords i know over and over again, listening to Taylor Swift... and Jesus spoke. this isn't uncommon because he speaks often, and sometimes his quiet, simple, and tender words are my favorite ones.
i was watching the strings on my guitar, how they move when you strum them, and i realized something.

i'm a lot like those guitar stings.
when you strum a guitar, particularly hard, i'm always afraid they're going to break.
they vibrate back and forth, threatening to snap... but, after a few moments of this, they go still. right back to their original position.

so often in my life, i go through circumstances, some of which are painful and uncomfortable, and i don't think i can endure it. i'm done trying, it hurts too much...
but.
the Lord reminds me. he often uses people, words, situations, and tiny things that i hardly pay attention to, that it's a necessary piece in my story.
he doesn't wound me without reason.
and ultimately, it's for my good.

but the best part?
guitar strings make beautiful sounds when they're strummed.
not when they just sit there.

the days that i feel anxious, hurt, and tried are the same days that my worship is the most genuine... when i speak out of the deep parts of my heart.

i'm praying that my life wouldn't be care-free and without pain, but that it would be one where the Lord uses whatever he sees best to evoke the worship from my heart.
and that it would be glorious, beautiful music.