discipline vs. love

i had the wonderful pleasure of spending the weekend and bringing in the new year with some dear, dear friends from one of my favorite places, otherwise known as: Brownwood, Texas.

at church on Sunday, we watched a video in sunday school about some people who went to Nicaragua on a mission trip... dang, my heart ached the whole time from so many reminders of Guatemala.

during the service, the pastor said something that made a spark in my heart:
"discipline isnt the key to reading your bible, praying, and knowing God better. because if you rely solely on discipline, you will fail. don't rely on discipline in your relationship with Christ, you must rely on love."

so often i start off the week, or in this case, the year, with new promises and hopes of what i'm going to do to be "better."
and then when i fail, i get frustrated because i didn't have enough discipline.
then i come up with this brilliant {or what i think is brilliant} plan of staying on track.
it's a never-ending cycle.

but what if this year, God wants me to pursue Him out of LOVE.
out of the desire of my heart.
out of my genuine and true longing to know Him more.

...not just so i can say that studied the bible more, prayed more, went on more mission trips, and went to church more.

i'm not saying that those are bad things at all. in fact, those are all things that the Lord has called us to do.
but for the right reasons.

Luke 7:36-50 is my favorite Bible story.
if you haven't read it or it's been awhile since you have, go back and read it again.
the love and forgiveness is so contagious.

at first glance, the Pharisee seems like a pretty good guy.
he invited Jesus to his house to eat with him.
he was most likely wealthy, he was in a position of great honor... it looks like he had so much to offer Jesus.

but then, the story changes.
a sinful woman {we don't even know her name} entered the house and as she was weeping, began to wet the feet of Jesus with her tears, wipe them with her hair, kiss them, and annoint them with an alabaster jar of expensive perfume.
simon couldn't believe what he saw. what was this sinful woman doing in his house, let alone touching his honored guest?

Jesus knew his thoughts, of course, and goes on to tell a story of great forgiveness.
he then says that Simon didn't even wash his feet, but the woman wet his feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. he gave Jesus no kiss, but the woman hadn't ceased to kiss his feet from the time she entered.
"therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven- for SHE LOVED MUCH.
but he who is forgiven little, loves little."

the Pharisee hadn't even done the duties that were a daily occurrence.
but this woman, possibly an adulteress or harlot, brought something of great worth to use for such a simple act.
she risked so much going into that house and choosing to humble herself in front of probably many dignified people.

BUT.
she gained so much more than she could ever possibly lose:
forgiveness from the Savior.

Simon relied on his duty as a Pharisee, and washing someone's feet was something the servants did, not someone as honored as himself.
but this woman recognized her need for grace, and in return,
found the greatest love ever known.