Ten more days in the beautiful state that I've been able to call home for the summer. Although occasionally it feels like I've been here forever and I've forgotten little details about home, I often feel like I just arrived.
The past two and a half months have undoubtedly been the most fulfilling and encouraging time of my life. The Lord has grown me in areas that I felt I would always be weak in, humbled me in places where my pride had grown too large, and encouraged me in parts of my heart that I had shrunk back in.
At the beginning of my internship, I decided to wholeheartedly throw myself into all the opportunities that I had this summer. Although I am not typically the most spontaneous person, I knew I would regret it if I turned down many of the opportunities that were around me. Thus, I decided to strictly follow (for the most part) my life motto:
You only regret the opportunities you don't take.
This resulted in a six inch bruise on my leg from cliff jumping off a 50 foot cliff into the lake, joining a Bible Reading Group at a local church with 8-10 girls that I had never met, climbing halfway up a 145 foot bridge (Natchez Trace Bridge), investing in a selfie stick, cracking my windshield with a fellow intern while trying to take a picture, exploring an abandoned house built in 1936, acting like a tourist and taking pictures with celebrities like Hayley Williams from Paramore and Brady Toops from the Bachelorette, kayaking the Cumberland River in Nashville, and going on adventures to tiny coffee shops and pretty places.
Although not always entirely wise, I've begun to develop this love for new things that I haven't felt before. The Lord has been so good in giving me a desire for adventure and a passion to do things wholeheartedly. One of my prayers in moving to Tennessee was that I would take advantage of these opportunities and not live out of fear or discouragement.
Although I know that He is fully capable of taking away my fear, I learned the importance of faith AND action. Often, I pray half-hearted prayers, expecting God to work without me having to do anything at all. The Lord doesn't need me to do anything in order for Him to work, but when I pray and do not step out towards Him in faith, I am not truly believing that He is strong enough to hold me up.
So, when I prayed that I wouldn't live in fear, He gave me a hundred opportunities not to. Sometimes, I gave into the fear and stayed in the shallow end, in the safe part of my heart. But the times that I decided to risk being vulnerable, risk feeling embarrassed, and risk being the "new girl," the Lord met me with incredible amounts of joy and peace.
I'm forever grateful for the connections and relationships I've made during my time in this sweet place. People that I had no idea even existed three months ago have played extremely influential roles in my life this summer.
During a Bible reading group that I go to, we were discussing Ezekiel and what it says about the Lord and how it applies to our lives. Honestly, it's sometimes difficult to feel the importance of verses like, "He measured the east side with the measuring reed, 500 cubits by the measuring reed all around. He measured the north side, 500 cubits by the measuring reed all around. He measured the south side, 500 cubits by the measuring reed..." Yet I felt the Lord so clearly comfort me in those strange verses. Just like the small and seemingly insignificant details of the temple matter to the Lord, so do the small and seemingly insignificant details of my life matter to the Lord. Often, I feel like there are two piles in my relationship with the Lord: the things I can handle and the things He can handle. Though sometimes I try to handle things on my own because of pride, many times it is because I feel like they are too trivial. But the Lord is so good and delights when I offer up the small matters to Him. How silly to think that He does not desire to hear about the little things when He has done so time and time again.
The little things I ask like finding a church I love, developing genuine friendships, continuing to hear from the Lord about my future, learning to loosen my grasp on things and people that the Lord has asked me to let go of... The list goes on. But I'm so thankful for a God who listens to the small things, because the small things are often the best reminders to me that He hears us.
He delights in hearing us and giving us glimpses of Him. These little things, like friendships and nature, are little specks of Heaven and only a shadow of the things to come.
I'm thankful for a good God who lavishly loves us, graciously hears us, and overwhelmingly fills us.
