06/06/14

"We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf..."    {hebrews 6:19-20} 

"Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words."    {romans 8:26}

so thankful for a God who knows us deeply and can sympathize with us. who knows our flaws but has run this race on our behalf. who is weak when we are strong. who intercedes for us when we are out of words. || you know me, you love me, and that is enough. 

letting go.

"Let go..."
He whispers somewhat loudly, yet I am the only one who hears.

Those moments are strange, as it seems like He is speaking so loud that everyone else can clearly hear as well.
But those moment are also precious.

Jesus is speaking to ME.
Lindsey, the one who is so awfully stubborn and persistent in her own ways, who hates people telling her what to do and cannot stand knowing she's wrong.
Yep, that's me.

Yet somehow, the Lord still pursues.
Even still.
Even in my sin, my stubbornness, my flesh.
He desires good for me even when I want to go my own way and try to fix things on my own.

And when I stop and realize that, it's almost comforting to give whatever I am grasping so tightly to Christ and let Him cover my sin and heal my heart and hold my future.
Jesus withholds no good thing from his children... It's funny how the enemy so often tries to make us believe that he is taking away or holding out on us.

I'm safe and secure in Christ.
So I can let go of pride.
Of having to be "right."
Of my possessions.
Of my future.
Of my reputation.
Of anything that I try to gain on my own.

Letting go isn't always easy, and sometimes it doesn't always make sense, yet it's so sweet to know that Jesus has a specific plan for MY life.
And I can wholeheartedly trust in that.

I can't even wrap my mind around the grace that is Jesus, but for some
reason, He allows me to know that
grace even still.
And maybe through letting go, I begin
to strip away things that hinder me so that I can see his grace and love more clearly.

fear and faith

it's incredible how the words of Jesus
can stir so many different emotions
in my heart.

throughout today, it seemed like every single place i looked and every single thing i heard, regardless of shape or form, Jesus was ever so gently whispering, "...trust me."

i am such a worrier, and for those who know me know that to be particularly true, but looking back on my day, i was ashamed and convicted about just how MUCH i really do worry.
i'm a huge thinker.
my brain is constantly turning.
constantly making up crazy and in a strange way, somewhat hilarious scenarios about what could happen if.

if.
that word makes me cringe and strikes soooo much fear in my heart.
if is a scary place.
if is something that usually, we aren't really able to control.
if is the unknown.

i asked myself earlier why i am such a worrier, and with his finger that so gently pricks, he points to my heart and says,
"this is why."
it is so hard for me to trust Jesus sometimes because of my fear.
i know His heart, yet sometimes i forget that He desires good for me.
that he KNOWS me.

we have this insane opportunity to know and be known by the Creator of this world, and often i pass it up because i
am afraid.
he already knows me fully and completely, but sometimes i think that if he really, really knew my heart that lacks so much faith and trust, he would turn away.

Jesus has promised good to me.
He has never failed me.
He will never fail me.
And I don't have to think of any wild scenarios about what might happen IF he doesn't come through.
that's a day that i'll never see.

so for now, i can choose to let Jesus see my sin and fill my gaps with his grace that covers me completely, and daily surrender my dirty and sinful little heart over to him so that he can give me faith, for it is nothing that i can do on my own.

his mercies are new and his grace is endless and my heart is set free.

01.27.13

"sometimes i think that i'm like a trophy that God wants to put in a showcase, just so everyone can see what a true Christian and salvation story should look like.
but then i remember that i'm really just a wrench. and not even a fancy gold-plated wrench... just a dirty, greasy, normal wrench that God may only pull out of the toolbox every so often. but when he does, he somehow uses that old and dirty wrench to make beautiful, beautiful things that only he could do."